Shameless self indulgence, Work, Writing

Getting Tired of These Blog Post Serials

Your Monkey’s spirit is sagging today, my friends. His mind is weak and easily distracted, making it hard for him to concentrate and even harder for him to work.

The constant flash-flash-flashing of his feed burner as it alerts him to new blog posts is not helping him concentrate, either. Every day they come in by the dozens. Each raises alarm bells in his fragile monkey mind. My god, why aren’t more people reading you?

They come in like schools of fish, each flitting in and out of his consciousness. Each using the same trite headline tricks over and over again.

  • 5 Key Ways to Build Your Blog
  • The Five Headline Tricks Every Writer Must Know
  • Are You Making these 5 Blogging Mistakes
  • The Incredible Hulk Approach to Smashing Your Blog Competition
  • The Willy Wonka Approach To Creating a Buzz
  • The Jim Jones Approach to Consensus Building

And then there are the deals. Read my free report. Take my class. See this video. Buy this book. Ride my copy donkey. Drink this f–king Kool Aid.

And the endless tips. Write what you know. Write what you don’t know. Find out what you don’t know, learn it, and then write it. Be fresh with your writing. Find fresh ways to repost your old writing. Think creatively. Find creative ways to think.

And then the questions. Dude are you twittering? Are you on facebook? Are you twittering on facebook? Dude, are you using your blackberry to twitter on facebook?

You have to be twittering on Facebook and you have to connect your blog to your Linked In page and you have to read every blog out there and comment on it and connect those comments to your blog.

You have to be relevant and you have to be funny and you have to check in with technorati and you have to find friends who will digg and stumble your posts and you have to build momentum.

You have to have something valuable to say and you have to know how to make money and you have to be good at something. Are you good at something? Come on you have to be good at something DON’T YOU?

F–k off already.

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