Elance and I are Breaking Up (for now)

Dear Elance,

I think it’s time we see other people.

I’m sorry to do this in such an impersonal way, but things just aren’t working out.

You are just a little too high maintenance for this time-stressed Monkey right now.

Oh please don’t cry. I’m not blaming you or pointing figures. It’s not you, it’s me.

You may be a wonderful writing service for freelancers who have the time to search and scour and scrape for work, but for a full-time Monkey who just wants a little something on the side, it’s just not there for us.

Look Elance, let’s not call it quits forever, OK?

Let’s just agree that we want different things right now. You want $10 a month for the right to request writing work, and this Monkey doesn’t want to pay for something if it’s not going to fit his schedule.

Maybe in the future we can sit down and have a drink and laugh about all this. Or maybe we can give it another shot if I have the time and you’re still around.

I mean, we did go through the whole orientation process together, right? I know about all your procedures and policies and the right way to resolve a billing conflict.

You know that I am bashful and suspicious and am wary of just about every job posting. You’ve seen me toss and turn at night wondering if it is possible (or even reasonable) to write hundreds of SEO optimized articles for less than $500.

No one is at fault in this relationship. Sometimes the best of people (or of Monkeys and online job services) just aren’t right for each other.

So let’s just fondly say goodbye for now.

Yours Truly,

Grumpy S. Monkey

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