Shameless self indulgence, Uncategorized, Work

More Facebook Posts That I’d Like to Make

From time to time, your Monkey is seized with the sudden impulse to post something on Facebook that may not be a wise choice for his personal and professional life. Sometimes these posts are uncomfortably personal, sometimes they contain opinions that the so-called “moral majority” might not agree with, and sometimes they are downright unseemly.

Therefore, in order to relieve his mind of the urge to share this information, your Monkey posts them here in the safety and anonymity of this widely unread blog.

The Grumpiest Monkey….

  • Would gladly accept a crippling meth habit if it could get this work day to go by faster
  • Is thinking about getting on the organ donor transplant list now (pre-need), so he’ll have a jump on the competition if any part of his body starts to go
  • Is likely to scream “don’t you eyeball fuck me” at the next person who glances too long at him in the company garage
  • Is going to rock down to Electric Avenue, and if all goes well, then take it higher
  • Built this city on rock and roll, along with steel, concrete, copper piping, asphalt and a top-notch urban planning commission
  • Doesn’t want to wait for our lives to be over
  • Just bought new screenwriting software but sadly finds his mind bereft of good ideas
  • Takes it personally when you change lanes without using your blinker
  • With all apologize to laughter, is pretty sure that medicine is the best medicine
  • Is wondering if anyone knows how long it takes for a balloon filled with heroin to pass through your system
  • Is thinking it might have been smarter to tie a tighter balloon knot
  • Is feeling incredibly warm and incredibly sleepy
  • SSsssssssssskghnnhdhahlglsawhef
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