Shameless self indulgence, Uncategorized, Work, Writing

My Business Plan (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Save the Octopus)

Your Monkey knew that if he lived back at home for long enough, a solution to his financial woes and career uncertainty would present itself. No, he will not be investing in gold bonds, corn futures, real estate or shipping companies.

Instead, he will be marketing a new set of “In Case of Emergency” stickers to your less traditional pet owner and collecting enthusiast.

Let’s face it, the current pet emergency sticker (shown above) is hopelessly and some might say laughably out of touch with today’s progressive pet owner.

Not every John Q. Pet Owner  has your standard dog, cat or bird.

And thus these ho-hum stickers may may leave out some pets that are now finding their way into people’s homes and are just as worthy of being rescued.

The following are the categories your Monkey is planning to add to his new “standard” pet emergency sticker.

In Case of Emergency, Please Save My:

  • Cats
  • Dogs
  • Rabbits
  • Birds
  • Ferrets
  • Lizards
  • Telepathic Octopus
  • African Killer Bees
  • South American Homicidal Hedgehogs
  • Electric Eels
  • Solar Power Salamanders
  • Coal-Fired Cuttlefish
  • Dodo Birds
  • Passenger Pigeons
  • Sasquatch Babies
  • Human-Ape Hybrids
  • Human-Alien-Hybrids
  • Human-Alien-Ape Tribrids
  • Gold-Hoarding Dragon

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