Things I Don’t Care About

I don’t care about Facebook and Youtube videos and writing blogs and Twitter accounts.

I don’t care about Linked In and Monster.com and networking for jobs.

I don’t care for job recruiters.

I don’t care about new social media trends and online networking and “going viral.”

I don’t care about fantasy football and keeper leagues and knockout drafts and online gambling.

I don’t care about ESPN.com and college basketball rankings.

I don’t care about diversifying my 401K plan and investing in real estate and cutting costs by eliminating unnecessary expenses.

I don’t care that the price of a cup of coffee adds up to $15 a week which is $60 a month and $1,800 a year.

I don’t care that my math is wrong in the above example.

I don’t care to do the right multiplication.

I don’t care about reconnecting with old friends and text messaging and RSS feeds and getting email on my phone.

I don’t care about high definition sports and on-demand programming and live streaming video.

I don’t care about the NFL Red Zone channel because it jumps around too fast.

I just don’t care about all this crap no more.

Shameless self indulgence

Seven Reasons Why I Haven’t Been Able to Post Until Now

Despite what you may have heard, your Monkey is not some excuse-mongering hypocrite who goes around explaining away his personal shortcomings by blaming others and pointing his non-opposable digits at any convenient target.

That being said, it is possible that some or all of these reasons are valid excuses for not having posted in nearly a week.

  1. A series of extra-long meetings at your Monkey’s day job have taken him out of his usual podcast-powered isolation tank of typing and proofreading. With no time to listen to podcasts, he hasn’t been able to find much worth sharing. It’s not like he has his own ideas.
  2. Pressure of following up 100th post anniversary spectacular was almost too much to bear.
  3. Time usually spent blogging was instead spent responding to enthusiastic inquiries from potential employees, graciously accepting civic awards, and politely declining calls to run for political office.
  4. Time usually spent blogging was instead used to create an elaborate fantasy world that has no bearing on reality (see reason 3).
  5. In angry response to oversaturated & overstimulated web world of blogs and Facebook pages and twitter feeds, your Monkey decided to join a group of radical anachronists who communicate only through 140-character Morse Code messages.
  6. Fatalistic “just waiting around to die”  lifeview of Monkey’s 93-year-old grandmother temporarily stole his will to write (and possibly to live).
  7. Sometimes the ideas just don’t come.